Almost nothing else gives me a kick except speaking Spanish to someone who doesn't expect it due to my headscarf but to tell someone I am a stay-at-home spouse and watch their reaction as if I just took them back 100 years is hilarious specially when they have the audacity to praise a man for doing it. I have had people, note without knowing me personally, try to slip in our conversation the encouragement to work as if the work of running a household is useless, but yet when a man chooses to do it, he is looked up to. Why? because it's a social change? I don't see them doing anything astonishing but finally doing something they should have done ages ago, take their share of responsibility at home. I will not give them a star for that!
Do some women choose to be a stay-at-home spouse because she and her husband feel that is best suited for her and in the benefit of the family? Yes! let her be! That's her choice. The real problem comes for the wives who are staying at home running the household, raising the children and the responsibility is fully laid on them while the husband is excused from household responsibility and glorified because he's bringing home the money. Here we're go! back to not crediting women and discrediting her work and position. Our discredit is what sets humanity back. It's also hypocritical. That's the unbalance we should fight against! The problem also with some of these social movements, it's that the movers are forgetting what they are fighting about--choice, not making people all believe the same thing. Please let's fight for choice and respect decision!
I have been in the workforce since I was 16 and if I don't have to work, why should I? If a man doesn't have to work, why should I get grief about it and not him? Well, some men do get grief about not providing because they are expected, but that's a story for another day. What if my husband and I have an arrangement for one of us to be a stay-at-home spouse because that is how we would like it due to whatever reasons. I know that at any given time I have the freedom of choice to return to the workforce(thank you social movements) and I wouldn't mind being the working spouse either.
What I would say and give credit for is that it's very responsible for some men on deciding to be the stay-at-home spouse(if that is what they like) and/or sharing in the household management and raising the children. Taking responsibility to run the household--it is a job that requires equally or more skills that of a corporate position, so don't downgrade a woman for doing it all or part and less discredit her nor it is something to praise a man over it as if they are doing women a favor because they are not! They are simply taking their share of responsibility(about time).
The reality we're living is that not all women and men want to be the working spouse and nor all women and men want to be the stay-at-home spouse--I am happy for this realization because it helps those women who want to be a working spouse and for those men who want to be the stay-at-home spouse. The point in a family unit is to run a productive household and guide lives--positions that are dependent on the skills of the spouses. Isn't what matters working with our skills and circumstances towards a common goal versus who should do play what role? Thank you very mucho!
Written by Mariana A.